Why We Must Teach Girls To Be Brave And Not Perfect To Build A Better Society & Future

Why is it that we find that women are under accounted for and underrepresented in the fields of STEM, in boardrooms, in C-suites, in…

Why is it that we find that women are under accounted for and underrepresented in the fields of STEM, in boardrooms, in C-suites, in politics & pretty much in every field in the modern age?

Women are the glue that holds every family together. As the cliche quote goes, behind every successful man is a woman who holds the fort down. Having a strong & independent woman as a partner & support system can completely change a man’s life.

While raising a family is one aspect that makes women resort to not following their ambitions, there is something else that is causing this lack of effort in taking risks for women across the spectrum.

There are millions of women across the world who sacrifice their ambitions and goals all because they are afraid of failure and rejection.

Many women across the world give up on their dreams, and resort to staying in their comfort zone, sometimes for the majority of their lives. And this happens far too easily.

Whereas men on the other hand, are taught to be brave, and take risks and in taking risks, they are duly rewarded.

What’s going on here?

Whether it’s applying for a job, or degree, or even asking a guy out on a date, or making the first move, women generally resort to being much more passive & afraid.

When they’re being raised, young girls are told to be pretty, look good, smile all the time, be perfect, get all A’s and aspire for perfection. While boys on the other hand, are taught to be rough, play rough, be strong and brave and take risks.

Are we bringing up our girls the wrong way?

The crux of the issue is not in our women, but the way they are brought up and raised, i.e. it’s this socialization of making girls aspire to be perfect and avoid failure, that is causing them to be fearful and more reluctant to take risks, and that in turn, reflects on the number of women we see in important positions in whatever industry and which ever field across the globe.

When they’re children, girls usually outperform boys academically the younger they are, but as they grow older they are more likely to give up sooner and not take risks, simply because they are fearful of rejection, being wrong, & imperfect, because they don’t want to fail.

“In the 1980s, psychologist Carol Dweck looked at how bright fifth graders handled an assignment that was too difficult for them. She found that bright girls were quick to give up. The higher the IQ, the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficult material to be a challenge. They found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble their efforts.

What’s going on? Well, at the fifth grade level, girls routinely outperform boys in every subject, including math and science, so it’s not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys and girls approach a challenge. And it doesn’t just end in fifth grade. An HP report found that men will apply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will apply only if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications. 100 percent. This study is usually invoked as evidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it’s evidence that women have been socialized to aspire to perfection, and they’re overly cautious.

And even when we’re ambitious, even when we’re leaning in, that socialization of perfection has caused us to take less risks in our careers. And so those 600,000 jobs that are open right now in computing and tech, women are being left behind, and it means our economy is being left behind on all the innovation and problems women would solve if they were socialized to be brave instead of socialized to be perfect.”, says ‘Girls Who Code’ founder Reshma Saujani, in her TED Talk about how we must teach our girls to Be Brave and Not Perfect

In her TED Talk, Saujani talks about how she ran for congress at the age of 33 and got out of her comfort zone & ran anyway despite her fears, and further how she reacted after losing in the polls while also losing millions of dollars and reacting to that failure, and starting her company “Girls Who Code”.

Saujani reflects on how she finds young girls who are trying to learn to code, giving up easily, not because of lack of intelligence but out of fear of making mistakes, and going wrong, and she further suggests that it’s this socialization of teaching young girls to not take risks and not teaching them to be brave that is causing them to give up on tasks easily.

If girls are taught to be brave and not perfect, Saujani says, it will help build a better future and a better society where women can excel and succeed in the same way men do.

We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we’ve got to do it now. We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 33 years old. We have to teach them to be brave in schools and early in their careers, when it has the most potential to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them that they will be loved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous. And so I need each of you to tell every young woman you know — your sister, your niece, your employee, your colleague — to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach girls to be imperfect, and we help them leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave and who will build a better world for themselves and for each and every one of us.